Phone ringing. It’s Peter. He’s out of town this weekend. “I just got an email from Mary (see post below) and I wanted your advice”, he says. What? Am I your new gay buddy available for fashion and emotional consults 24×7? I barely can coordinate my underwear together. “Dude, you’ve got orange freaking Pumas”. Good point, what do you want.

Mary’s email to Peter basically asks why he hasn’t called or responded to her messages. She goes on to say she thought Peter was a decent person and had higher expectations of him. I should mention that Peter & Mary had the Bill Clinton version of not-having sex sexual contact, so this wasn’t simply two people who had coffee together once.

Call her now. Tell her the truth. It will take only 5 minutes. Be nice. Make her feel better and guess what you will feel better as a person , I tell Peter. “OK, I knew you would tell me this, I needed the guilt”, he replies. A few minutes later, I get a text message from Peter. “I sent her a text message, is that lame?” Yes, it is.

I’m thinking of the number of cycles both of them (Peter & Mary) are spending worrying about this and it effectively is going nowhere. Mary should realize that Peter may be unable to deal with her, you can’t fix him. Peter may not know what he wants himself.

It’s your life, do what you want and don’t be afraid to tell others. I’m an adult, I can handle the truth, just don’t leave me guessing. Unfortunately, I failed myself by not taking this advice nor heeding it the last year, I’m trying to do better this year though.