I googled Daniel and found a bunch of his writings. Smart guy, enjoyed reading. I called him this morning. “Hi, it was nice to have met.” He was still sleepy. Cell connection went bad. I called back, no answer. I text him. No reply. Couple of hours, I call again, no answer, I leave a message, nice to have met, would like to see you again, call me if you want.
Are you seeing any kind of a pattern here?
I’m on the phone with Prof. Tim, my Chicago friend. Professor – do you have that handy booklet “Landing Young Gay Guys”, I think I need to re-read Chapter 4 again. Chuckling, Tim’s tones in, “Chris – if you’re going to chase the young immature & insecure guys – this is cycle you’re going to see”. Damn.
I’d said Peter was mad at me. I had ignored TV Guy, gone after Daniel in under 5 minutes but then he dropped the bomb on me. “Chris, your marriage is over and if you need to make a decision to give yourself to your kids. You need to devote the next couple of years to your kids, give a piece of yourself to them. They’re going to hate you later but give them your gift”. What? What gift? He blas on about my seeming magical capability to talk to people, pull something precious out of them.
I’m not sure I have some gift. But I haven’t been a good father in the last year, not sure it’s part of my DNA make-up. I could do a better job, my kids will be on their own soon, we owe it to them to send them out in the world as best equipped as they can be. Hope I’m up for the challenge.
Meanwhile, TV Guy, his feelings are hurt, has determined that an appropriate gift will make up for my poor behavior. I just love him.