My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Officer, I was drunk at the time

I’m under house arrest or so it seems. Other than business colleagues on the phone or a clerk at the grocery store – I haven’t spoken with a soul yet in Cologne. TC has got suicide watch; he’s calling a couple of times a day. The first question, “have you been chatting up any boys”?

He wants me to go out, meet some folks my own age. How about NO! Guys my age make me nauseous (do people really live that long?). “Chris – I want you to enjoy yourself, get out and talk to the ugliest guy in the bar, you need to make friends”. Enjoy and ugly, all in the same sentence, some how this doesn't sound like a Snickers bar with caramel and nougat.

So I sit at home, watching Showtime’s Californication. The main character is similar to Peter, sleazy and lovable all at the same time. I’m staying put. Best for all involved. A bottle of wine and some dark chocolate (candy) has got to satisfy me for the moment. For I am not trust worthy.

I know, I go out, I’m nervous, get a drink, maybe two drinks, eye a lost little lamb in the corner, you know the cute one with his friends but clearly looking around, somewhere in his 20’s, he knows everything and nothing and I know it too. I circle about, look for an introduction point and bing bang boom, telephone number, little chat and we’re going out or worse (this apartment is great make-out pad). Guys are pretty simple to figure out, don’t need a Duo-Core processor to calculate their needs.

But I can’t. I won’t. I don’t need Tiger Cub meeting me at the airport. “You smell like dick”. Well – thank you. I’m wise enough to value what I’ve got, a woman and a man.  I’m satisfied and NO I don’t need to go out, I know far to well the game. I want to maintain Tiger Cub’s trust. Guys cheat on each other. It doesn’t hurt less. Nope, playing a longer term game here, at least 7 innings.

I’m going to the Netherlands today. Smoke’em if you got’em, I will by tonight.  🙂


  1. Will I think I should contact all your loyal readers (Prof. Tim, Monty, etc.) and take up a collecton so that we can purchase you a blow up doll with silky lips for realistic making out. You should be happy then until TC finishs his swim across the Atlantic.

  2. More than happy to contribute Mark. 🙂

  3. Love it, just love it! It is so rare to find gay men ready willing and able to do the fidelity thing. Chris, each time I read your blog I learn something more about how relationships SHOULD be; gay or straight. Do I dare say it again? I do! You are simply the best!

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