Peter has cooked dinner for me two nights in a row. We’re almost at the holding hands stage (sic). After dinner we wander down to a local Belgium beer bar, I’m trying to scope out a waiter I chatted with a few days back, the first white guy I’ve found interesting, but alas he’s not working tonight. We place ourselves strategically at the bar.
We’re talking about relationships and the life games that get played. There is clearly a ritual of how we build our relations interacting back and forth. Peter spews out some real wisdom saying, “Some people would rather win the game than be happy”.
Real genius. Isn’t the purpose of our life games to ultimately get together with someone? Thus both parties have to win. This isn’t a game where a sole winner is declared, yet people often play it that way.
Young girl, mid-20’s walks into the bar, looks new to town and sits down by herself. She’s eying Peter, who is an attractive guy for sure, I think she’s cute, Peter isn’t sure. I go into my “wingman” mode and manage in about 10 minutes to strike up a conversation with her. I’m in the process of reeling her over to sit with us when she suddenly gets up, walks out with no good bye or acknowledgment. The fish gets away.
Peter and I spend the next 30 minutes constructively analyzing what I did wrong. I had her on the line for sure. We conclude though that in striking a new relationship you have to ensure that you’re SENDING information in a manner and amount that the other party is willing to RECEIVE. We felt I had put out too many signals too quickly and she was suddenly uncomfortable. Oh well.
Postscript: Turns out after talking to waitress (who was the girl’s new roommate), that she had another appointment and had to leave. Peter throws me under the bus, blaming me for being obnoxious and sending his condolences to her in hopes of meeting again. I smile, such is life.