My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Life for the select

To find a girl, date, select a mate. That's the right thing to do. Enjoy early couple life, get married, have a baby. It's the right thing to do. Settle down, raise a family, enjoy your family. You're on the right path. Later, bask in the golden years, watch your family multiple, impart your learned wisdom while holding on to your mate for life. This is how life should be. This is how life is for a select few.

Image414 But you're not living that life. You're living a different life. It's not better or worse, it's just not the right thing to do and yet you are doing it. Yes yes yes, don't give me some BS about diversity and "love thy neighbor" crap. The forward momenteum of life as we know it, the middle majority that serves as an anchor to life depends upon people, couples, a man and a woman who follow in this well worn path. Life must indeed go on and the gays sadly aren't helping the cause.

But you didn't choose this life. It chose you. No one is at fault. Nature playing a strange game of Peterian roulette and you lost. So you must play the cards you got, play them well and play them with honour.

As a father and a husband, a man who loyally tracked the well worn path for 16+ years, I know all too well how this story is "supposed" to play out. But it didn't for me and it won't, so boo hoo.

I write to you as I call from within my own strength. The strength to carry on into the unknown and the hope you will accompany me on this journey. 


  1. Chris,
    Having been there I understand this particular blog…..I dearly love my family, it was and still is a big part of my life, but I also have my new “life” which, for me, feels a great deal healthier. It’s the healthier part that is what I missed out on.

  2. Live YOUR life now, and stop whining. Develop new friendships, etc.

  3. Live YOUR life now, and stop whining. Develop new friendships, etc.

  4. Easy “get over it” (see comment above). It has taken Chris two years to get where he is, and that’s simply to admit he is gay. Give him a break. I know what you mean about the whining, but Chris is a good guy, and apparantly needs to take baby steps (or two year old steps). He’s doing just fine, not as fast as some of us wish for him, but just fine. Let he work through all this, let him get to the point where he’ll stop referring to his ex wife as his “wife,” let him realize there are real men out there, not just 23 year old hair dressers, let him come to understanding at his own pace. He’ll get there.

  5. life is a struggle–sharing..exploring..blogging… is not whining. when you’re strong, we’ll rejoice. when you need it, we’ll support you. sit back and take a breath…you’re not alone on this journey. (big hug)

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