My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I’m HIV+

No, not really, just wanted to drive some more web traffic to my site. Sorry for the scare.

Paul, one of my married friends, has introduced me to an older former colleague guy who came out to his wife after 18 years of marriage. He left her and I believe is living with a partner. I’ll meet him when I return from Europe. But the kicker is he’s HIV+, the price for living large. If I thought my troubles were major, being HIV+ must be a whole new mind game.

What is “safe” sex? For my lifetime, it’s been about preventing an unwanted pregnancy. Now a broad spectrum of STD’s to worry about. God really must hate gay guys. Can you kiss someone? Oral sex? Rimming? Anal sex is clear? But can you cum inside someone with a condom? What about oral sex with someone with pre-cum. I’m sorry to be so graphic, but the permutations are endless. The ultimate answer is always abstinence has the lowest risk.

TC kept pulling back from me during our times together. He had a clear set of rules of what he would and wouldn’t do. I was just a dumb ole horny dog, oblivious to the dangers. He “seemed” like a nice guy after all. How incredibily stupid of me, I do have rules, but they are really more like guidelines. Playing Peterian Roulette for a 1 hour sex romp doesn’t seem a fair trade.

So I’m reading the disclaimer paragraphs for membership in this gay country club and while I’m not a lawyer, there are some pretty nasty terms in this document that scare me to death (the literal part isn’t helping).

I care about the person I’m with, I hope they care about me. But – how exactly do you do that in the early stages of a relationship? This seems to be Reason #498 for a why a long term partner would be important.

1 Comment

  1. So you have rules!! LOL! I recently had two friends of mine disclose their HIV positive status to me. I was surprised…I did not know anyone with HIV before. They are both healthy but have the deal with the discrimination of being HIV pos. In Australia, by law you must disclose your status. So when they go on dates or pick up, they have to tell this perspective partners. This scares some of them off. Now they just go for other Poz guys.
    You have to be SAFE always and never trust anyone about their status. One of my friends stupidly did..one time of bareback sex and now he’s got it. Stats in big cities are 1 in 4 gay men are poz, I think they are high in DC, SF, London and Sydney. You can have fun just be careful and get tested.

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