Peter’s fiance Super Sexy Kitten (SSK) has decided I need to meet more gay people and invited me out last night to meet up with a gay lawyer friend of hers. The guy was nice enough all around, late 30’s, been with the same guy for almost 10 years (though ironically they’ve only lived together for the last 2, but there is nothing odd about anything in the gay world). He was curious (I don’t use the world interested), as are most, with the whole TC story. SSK got busy pulling up our photos on her iPhone. So I began.
As the story unfolded (I have Johnny Depp playing me in this version of the movie), the lawyer feels compelled to offer me advice. We all know my feelings about offering advice. In a word, don’t. Nonetheless, it was meant to be supportive, so I ensured my wine glass was full as he began to ask me questions.
He’s only 26, this is quite young to be in a committed relationship. You trust him to be faithful? Look at your age difference, aren’t you scared of him dumping you in 10 years? A bartender in a gay bar? I bet he got a lot of action with his exotic looks. You like chasing these youngsters?
The lawyer quieted down as I explained how we’ve lived together almost from day 1 and have now covered 3 different countries. I see, that’s quite a feat. We talk about 10-20 times each day when we’re apart providing each play by play action. Hmmm .. you two are clearly in touch. An when I told him we didn’t have sex for the first 6 months together, a shocked look came over his face. He was speechless. The lawyer muttered he had never made it more than a week himself with anyone and with that concluded, wow you have quite a relationship. We do indeed.
I drove home. I got teary eyed. TC is turning me into such a woman. I thought what am I most scared about? Was it the prospect of being alone? Having to endure finding someone else? Perhaps not finding someone else? Or is it simply that TC and I wouldn’t be together? Or maybe it was the super value meal, all of it combined.
I’m comfortable with me. I don’t have to follow any of the gay rules. None of them. Not a one. I didn’t start in that world and have no interest in picking up the bad habits, nor am I interesting in being with someone who has acquired them. I get to define the rules of engagement, at least from my side. So I wait patiently.