Why am I doing this? He’s not my BF. He moves over to me and slams me against the office wall, he’s as big as I am, kneels down, undoes my pants and well…. somehow I think I’m forgiven.
I liked Daniel, well educated, interesting to talk to on subjects I know little about. It’s my curiosity, I enjoy getting to know people and extracting things about them that others may have overlooked. TV Guy thinks Daniel was simply looking for a quick hook-up. I’m not so sure.
TV Guy dislikes how affectionate I am. “You going to get a slutty reputation”. I was raised in a cold family. I don’t remember hugs and kisses from either of my parents. I compensate now by showering my kids with love and affection. The warmth of a human touch is not to be under estimated. It my way of expressing understand and touch only when I feel a connection with someone. I freaked Daniel out, not because of fear, but he wanted to be a cat, stroked, cared for, loved and I was genuine in my affection, I wasn’t taking, I was giving.
I express my dismay to TV Guy at all the gay guy antics and lack of any real opportunity to build a relationship. TV Guy believes I’m playing it all wrong. I’m hitting the guys who really only want a one nighter. His advice, find someone interesting, give them your tel# and move on, call them the next day, you’ll quickly will find out who wants to invest the time with me.
He ‘net it out. He likes me, understands my situation, knows it will sort it self out in time, but he’d rather I spend time with him than trolling thru the bars alone. Safer. He doesn’t want a relationship with a married guy, but I’ve been honest on what’s happening. He has genuine affection for me.
He’s off to NYC for some TV shoot and wants me to come along. Telling Peter, whose jumping on his bed, he wants to go too, TV Guy pulls a far amount of hot model traffic with him, sic.