Big mistake. Peter, a good friend, younger single & semi-straight (we’re all convertible you know), has a habit of going thru women. Slut, whore or simply doesn’t know what he wants, I can’t figure him out. Couple of weeks back, he happens up this nice pretty girl at a friend’s place. She’s a guidance counselor just breaking up with her previous boyfriend,wild romance unfolds. He’s calling me from a NJ beach house, “this could be the one, she’s just super”. Great, I’ll wait to read it in the Post.

Peter comes back from this escapde, sinks into my couch, “nahhh … she’s not it, too insecure, she’s been too familiar with me”. Well screwing someone in a hammock seems pretty familiar to me. Peter continues to date (and effectively use) her and she’s clearly taken with him. In fact, she’s doing most of the work and the more she does, the less Peter likes her. Not surprising, Peter moves on (sorta doesn’t tell her), communications slow down, he’s not wanting to get back together and finally he drops the axe on her. Now she’s emailing me, she’s found my blog and she’s hurt.

I’ve continued to realize that relationships are special. Like two asteroids colliding. It’s rare to get one that truly works. You gotta respect one when it does. But the ugly side is when the feelings aren’t mutual. It shreds and someone gets hurt.

Meanwhile, TV guy is “dirty” texting me. And I mean dirty stuff. I’m in a wine store shopping and texting. He misses me. Don’t you have a BF? “Yes, but he’s working”. Great – now I’m a subsititue BF. Guys are too sexually charged, bulls in a field of steers. With my 50% travel schedule, could I have ever fully trusted a partner? Would there have been allowances in behaviour? Don’t know, hope I don’t have to go back down that road.

My biggest fear, now that my radar is on, is finding some guy that truly hits me as the “one”. It will set off a tidal wave of emotional activity that will result in the collapse of my world.