I had told Daniel I would call him yesterday and I did. He immediately launches into his need for space and how he’s got to get his life in order first. He’s a bit stressed, he needs to get a job, is living on the couch of a friend, no car and limited funds. He’s intense, goal driven and I’m a minor issue in the scheme of things for him at the moment. He does say that he’s had a nice time with me though. All this and I just called to say hi.
I ask if he wants to grab lunch on Sunday. He repeats his need for space and concludes “why don’t we leave it that I’ll call you next time. OK.” Yup, got it. Call over.
Peter had long ago noted that in a straight relationship when two people like each other, there’s a high level of energy, a desire to accelerate things. The view, if things aren’t hot n’ heavy early on in a relationship, when are they going to be? That’s certainly been true in my own female relationships. Peter observed that gay guys seem to be oppositely wired. They cautiously sniff, fend disinterest, disappear to think about things with guys they’re actually interested in. In fact, TV Guy disappeared on me for a couple of weeks during the summer before re-appearing. He told me afterwards he wanted to think about me abit first. Conner did the same thing, told me to “chill”.
Being on the receiving end of this behavior certainly could leave one feeling a bit insecure. So what do you? Have multiple guys going? Develop a laissez faire about all of it and just do whatever the hell pleases you at that moment, damn the other person. Clear alternatives.
Daniel is young and insecure. He repeats his edicts more to convince himself than me. I heard them the first time. I guess this comes with me patroling in the “young guy” territory again. Can’t change him, only can change myself.