My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

All the wrong moves

Handed back the keys to my apartment last night. Seeing as how I was downtown and all (OK – stop the snickering), I called TV-guy to see if he wanted to grab a drink. Like clockwork, he responded yes so off to Halo I went. Peter called as well, he wants to go too.

TV guy has gone back to his boyfriend. Guess the challenge of creating new relationships is tough for all. He’s asking how I’m going to handle living back with the family. No idea. I’ll take it one day at a time. Toss me a cute Latino every now and again and I’ll be fine. I’m asking TV-guy about our own relationship and what happened. Sort of a Monday morning quarterback session. He blurts out that he was upset with me for not picking up the check one night.

The story is we had gone out to dinner, about half way thru, a girlfriend of his joins us and orders dinner as well. Followed a short time later by a couple (man/women) who order appetizers and drinks. Well check arrives, I’m not sure what do to. Do I pay for myself and TV guy? Is TV guy going to pay for me and him? Do I pick up the entire check for the table~ $200? I had bought dinner the last time and earlier that evening had bought him 2 bottles of wine (he couldn’t decide on red or white – so I got both for $40) for his apartment. Well the ‘net is, I put in $60 and table pitched in for the rest.

I’m glad TV guy said something and told him so, you got something bothering you, tell the other person, pretty to have it all out in the open. He seemed relieved to tell me. I offered not to be so cheap in the future. OK – so he’s clearly high maintenance and needs a sugar daddy and I do think I did the right thing (despite what TV guy thought). But this raises the question in gay terms, who pays for what?

If I go out with a women, I pay. Pretty simple. If I ask a friend out, the assumption is we’ll split the check. So this is another dilemma for gay guys. William bought me plenty of drinks and food and I did the same for him, it was pretty balanced. We actually never discussed it, someone just paid, pretty simple. TV guy has plenty of money, but he doesn’t like to have to deal with tasks like paying. Yes he is indeed high maintenance, I got that. But it’s still not clear.

Ah..the complex rules of this life.

1 Comment

  1. Generally we take the easy way – two credit cards for the waiter. If one of us had a little more or less we do not really care.
    The rest comes out in the wash – if I pay for a cab, he may do the next one or just buy the first round. I guess it helps that my current “lover” is on equal economic footing, but it is an issue I see out there.

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