I haven’t written much lately, mostly because I’d didn’t feel I had anything to write. But I really haven’t wanted to write about what’s going on, mostly in my head.

Scrappy and I celebrated 5 years together. He’s been a loyal subject, followed me around the world and been a constant companion. It’s fair to say I love him, he’s been such a fixture in my life. We do have the occasional battle and we do seem to squabble all the time. There is no question about his loyalty or love. But something eats at me and I’m not sure it’s good or me just being crazy (a more likely scenario).

What’s bothering me is that I get seriously upset with him. He’s just lazy and that drives me (a type-A person) just wacko. I find change under the bed because he couldn’t bother to pick it up. Soaking towels in the hamper that wet the other clothing, why? He has no idea why. The other day I found the coffee canister in the linen closet? He can’t manage to find his keys most of the time, has no idea where his bank card is and isn’t the least bit worried about health insurance or whether he paid his VISA this month.

Despite an excellent way with people (women just love him automatically), I notice he just lacks some of class about how he does things, he can go ghetto on me sometimes. His family are 1st generation immigrants from South America. His father, a laborer in the sugar cane fields. He’s not got the polish, pose or sophistication that my wife had.

Finally, he doesn’t seem the least bit concerned about any career prospects. His day is spent mostly worried about me. He’ll clean the house, shop, prepare dinner, candles light, fresh flowers, music playing, glass of wine poured. Make not bones about it, I often arrive to a princely welcome after work.

I’m not perfect and have had a constant wandering eye and get in regular trouble for chattting up someone for just a moment too soon. I wonder if that’s because deep down I don’t think he’s a keeper. But I’m a man and I won’t let him go until I’ve found someone else. That’s how the story goes. So my eyes wander and I think, could that other guy just be Mr. Right?

 … to be continued