My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

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I’m in New Brunswick, New Jersey, home of Rutgers University. More specifically, I’m in a college bar thinking to myself, white boys aren’t all that bad, plus my current model is getting a little old and fat as well, maybe it’s a good time for a trade in. What do you think? Meanwhile, somewhere in Toronto, Canada, attached to a ceiling is my cat, hissing and snarling at me. Ah the brown tiger … leaving me alone to my own devices. I’m enroute to NYC today, stand back let a professional do their job.

Don’t I wish. I got an email today from Kevin, guy I’d met in a Phoenix bar, now going on 4 years ago. We had just talked, exchanged email addresses, he writes a few times a year to just say hello. Always quite polite, a professional, own house, job the works. He would probably be someone I’d hang out with if I lived in hellishly hot Phoenix.

Kevin just turned 50 and he’s alone and writes that he’s alone. You can read between the lines that he’s lonely and perhaps even a bit scared. He’s a good guy. But somewhere along the path, he hasn’t found someone. There may be a reason, there may be a story, there may be some history. ┬áBut for whatever, he’s by himself and just celebrated his 50th.

Back in the college bar, yes, I’m too old to be here, still don’t get too close to my cage. I am a professional after all. But I feel lucky, I likely will always have my family, wife and kids to some extent, no matter what. TC? The last year hasn’t been easy on either of us, but we held on, we’re holding on.

It’s easy to imagine that whoever is next will be ‘so much better’ than whatever you have or had. Realizing, of course, that you yourself become less attractive with time, a Swiffer dust mop, picking up and retaining things, ticks and habits as you’ve sweep along. ┬áStill – you can’t put two mismatched pieces together, no matter how hard you try. I’m sad for Kevin, life is best shared with the eyes of another. Now on to NYC, let the games begin!


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  2. I so miss frat boys…oh the memories from Boston. Men with baseball caps..hoT!

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