My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Why worry

I’m in Manila and I’d much rather you be here than me. Think Mexico with shit food.  I’ve set up a grueling 4 weeks of travel because that’s what my day job entails so I’m embarking on a journey of 3 continents and 9 cities. Oh boy. Scrappy ain’t coming, I’ve ordered him to stay home and get a yob. He’s all legal now in HK, resident and working visa. Don’t ask. He’s legal so get a yob he will.

The sparks still fly off of us. We need to have a serious discussion but I’ve realized that I deep down I just hate my job and since that’s a large part of me, it sets the whole day off. Daniel Pink has a nice YouTube video which provides some insight into what motivates people. BTW it’s not money  I lack some real motivation.

But I suspect I’m not alone in my deep disgruntlement. Middle aged, making good coin and a bunch of people sucking on your teat. You have to run just to stay in place. I’ve got to work on fixing this and that’s my job and no one else can do it. It likely involves some more tough decisions but so be it.

A plane ride to Manila is always interesting, as soon as the plane lands the Filipinos all get up from their seat, yank down their luggage and make their way to the exit. The plane meanwhile hasn’t gotten off the runway yet. WTF does this people think they’re going to do? Exit on the taxi way? Sheer stupidity and defies logic. The poor flight attendant shrugged and said “this is how they are.”

An maybe this is how things are between me and Scrappy. No matter the differences he loves me and he can’t go to sleep without my fat ass laying over him. And that’s how we are a bickering elderly homo couple.

I was reading an excerpt of the book, “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman and I’m encouraged enough to read the whole book. He’s an experienced marriage counselor and writes that 69% of problems that couples have are perpetual (I love these seemingly accurate percentages). Meaning they argue year-in and year-out about the same shit with no change and that arguing about this is mostly just a waste of time and determinable to the marriage.

Good advice but perhaps harder medication to actually take. I’m going to try and do a better job with Scrappy and while I can’t likely change him perhaps there is some happy ground we can find.

1 Comment

  1. I don’t know where you get the idea that it’s ok for any couple, any age, any sexual orientation, to bicker all the time and still think the relationship works. Who’s afraid of Virginia Wool, table for two

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