My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Who’s howling for whom

I'm telephoning TC talking about Cologne PRIDE which purportedly ranks close to Sydney in size. I'm chattering along about how some of the guys here are getting quite cute. CLICK. Damn – little f*cker hung up on me.

Tiger Cub gets terribly jealous of me sniffing about (as I do). But it's the game I play with him. Unfortunately, the game we're playing together is far more serious. TC is in love. He can't say the words out loud. In fact, he struggles just saying "I miss you", which he utters so softly during our conversations. But his actions are quite telling.

He wants to come to Germany in July. He wants to figure out what kind of relationship we really have. He's not interested in traveling anywhere, Cologne is just fine. He just wants us to be together. He tells me he'd hoped his affection would die down upon his return to his hometown of Toronto. But it hasn't. He's miserable. I am too.

I laid it on the table. I'm not playing around with him for some short term fun. This is a long term deal or it's no deal. I told him I must be in love with him, because 90% of the time I just want to kill him, it's the darn other 10% that has me hooked.

He's struggling what to tell his family and working on some story. I suggested the truth as a good start. Tell your father, "You're running away with a 47 year old married man to live in Germany". I can just hear his father's body hitting the floor in cardiac arrest. It hard for him even to tell his best girlfriends our story.

We're both struggling with the age gap and sheer geographic that needs to be overcome. A bystander would easily conclude this is just crazy. But good long term relationships are rare and even more so in the nutzy gay world. I told TC, if he is the love of my life, I'll be damed if we shouldn't make a valiant effort to try and be together. He agreed. My puppy loves me. I know, you're going to have to go throw up now.

4 Comments

  1. Of course I’m not going to throw up – if you’ve read my blog of recent times, it’s even more nauseating in it’s declarations of love! Good on you Chris…glad that you’ve worked out what you want (TC) and now you’re trying to work out how to get it! Life IS too short, and love is too hard to find, to let this opportunity slip away! big hug! PS When are you coming to Sydney for Mardi Gras???????? 🙂

  2. I’m so excited for you Chris! And I agree with you fully about this “nutzy gay world” (although, what does that mean? I’m not experienced enough, I thougth there was only one world, but that’s why I ready your blog, in order to figure out all these nuances). So what if you sniff around a little bit? Your puppy knows you love him, and you love him!

  3. hey loverboy. I’m going to be in Italy and Germany for work end of August (colonge, berlin, munich and Milan). If you are around there lemme know and we can catch up!

  4. You love teasing TC, you know exactly what his reaction is going to be, but you’re like a child, it was so much fun the first time you keep repeating.
    As far as TC’s father is concerned I agree with you that the truth would be the simpliest and best course.

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