Couple of reader’s have questioned, “How I do it?”. With “it” being how I manage to get so many new relationships going so quickly. I reflected on this a bit. It’s not because I’m “hot”, I’m not unattractive, but I’m 46 and on a good day might shed a few years. I’m not some super personality, in fact I’m quite arrogant, egoistical, elitist and some label that William gave me that probably fits, I just don’t know what it means.
I am a neat person to talk to. I’m approachable and I’ll approach someone else, but that’s not really “it”. The “it” is that I’m interested in you. I do look for people of merit and when I connect with them, I seek to understand them. What makes them tick? What are they interested in? I’m not talking at some superficial level, I really wanna know what they want out of their life, what do they fear, what are their strengths and what are the weaknesses they’re scared to admit, where are they on life’s journey and how are they doing. I question with full sincerity, it’s the real deal. My full attention focused on them.
At some base level, we all seek to be understood by others. Some, like me, are open to being understood, others keep that door down a dark hallway and securely latched, knowing that few will venture down to unlock this passage. But, silently hoping someone will take the time to get to know then. If you make the effort, it’s the ultimate compliment to them.
If someone is truly trying to get to know you and deftly & comfortably pulls you out without embarrassment and with the knowledge that your desires are completely honorable, you will capture their hearts and mind.
I’m not saying your lead question in a bar should be “What’s the meaning of life?”. But if you are sincerely interested & focused on that other person, they will generally respond to you in the positive.