Late Fall 2006 – With all this chasing of young guys, I’ve forgotten to mention my own mental health. Bad, would be the word.

My wife and I had sex last in July 2006. I’m now a virtual zombie at home. I don’t talk, I don’t interact, I just don’t. We sleep in the same bed, but it’s like I’m a ghost in the house. The kids, what kids, I barely notice them.

What’s becoming apparent is that I’m slipping into a serious depression. I go to bed early, I can’t function at my job. I want this pain to go away. Either get out or get in, but get something, I feel.

I’m drinking more, but it only numbs the pain. The pain is still there. My wife doesn’t ask any questions. She must figure something is wrong with me, but is happy to let me figure it out. I’m mad at her, I need help.

Thankfully, I’m going to the gym which is my only stress outlet. I discover X-Tube (yeah!!!!) and Internet porn takes on a whole new outlet for me.

I’m very unhappy.