My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

What wife? I have a wife?

So many things I haven’t reported which are in fact quite important, my wife for one. My wife is attractive, well mannered and intelligent. So no big surprise in the last year she’s gotten her own new boyfriend who is about 10 years older than her (old – just plain nasty). He’s from Peru and no the fact that we now both seem to like the brown Latin culture isn’t lost on me. His wife died of cancer, 2 sons, he’s got respectable job and unfortunately is away on travel for long periods but will be around for the holidays. But all accounts, appears to be a good guy. During the summer, he took my wife to Peru for 10 days and I stayed home and watched the kids.

It’s all quite civil as it should be. But I can’t help but be a little jealous. She has seemingly recovered in all respects and on her way to a new life. I’m happy for her.  My own life, well, that’s a little less clear.

The problem is for all the hyperbole I ex-toil, I’m not really out nor do I think I wanna be. I mean I accidentally outed myself to my former company, who gives f**k about them. But I’m not out to my parents, brothers, other business colleagues.  It’s not like I need to advertise this, we all have angles of ourselves we don’t want people to know about.

What I have learned is each person will react differently and it may not be what you expected. You’ll find the homophobic person who you never realized was so narrow minded. The Curious George who seems to enjoy asking detailed questions about your sex life.  The “I knew it”  who always thought you were queer (like anyone thought that about me) and relish about how smart they are and then there are the ones who simply disappear on you, perhaps they have their own secret. Of course, there are those who really don’t care and treat you no different than before.

In fact, most people are no different to me than before. But it’s like opening a cracker jack box, you never know what you’re going to get and no one wants a bad surprise.


  1. I love how your wife ends up with a Latino guy! go brown love! we found a city that loves us.

  2. Wow…I love your description of how people will react if you come out. Is not being out causing you some problem? If not maybe status quo is best.

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