My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

What to do?

Welcome, if you’re a new reader! I started this blog to share my experiences as a married guy with kids going thru some coming out experience. It was part therapy, part desire to keep a journal and part desire to leave breadcrumbs for others perhaps to follow. Searching the Internet, I found there are tons of gay bloggers, a number of them married or having been married many of these were helpful but I was looking for information, a guide. I was desiring to join a club that I felt I already was a member of.

I’ve tried to keep my own writings with a helpful tone. I’ve shared some very personal information about things that have happened and my own feelings. All unabridged and unedited for airline usage. But I wanted everything on the table. I didn’t want to spin the information or try and create some type of ego image for your consumption. I hope this would give you a well rounded view of who I am. Men are terrible about their feelings, there are places that we simply don’t want to go, much less sit down and savor a cup of coffee.

This blog is nearing 4 years in age. To say that I’m a newbie, probably doesn’t quite fit. Yet I still am fascinated by the gay culture and lifestyle. It is no wonder that there are entire bookstores devoted to gay stories. It is a complex world that I didn’t realize was there.

So what are my learnings? What can I tell you that summarizes the essence of this experience? The closest I can give you is perhaps this. Years ago, we had a older board member, he was the founding partner of one of the world’s best known management consulting companies. This was one smart dude. I was having breakfast with him and trying to be “smart” I asked him a question of which the answer I haven’t never forgotten. I asked him what, in his years of experience, was the most common mistake that executive managers make?

He reply was immediate and pointed. He said, “Richard – the most common mistake I have found in my years of executive consulting is that manager’s fail to act upon the information they have“. Wow. He was dead right and I see this every day in fucked up businesses I deal with. Usually somewhere in the midst of a corporate disaster is some idiot executive (usually being well paid) who refuses to act on what he knows.

Apply this to your own personal situation. If you like guys, well you like guys, deal with it. Analysis paralysis kicks in with so many men, they are forever data gathering. Perhaps it’s the fear of making a decision based upon the available information that sends them into indecision or “give me just one more week”.

So there you go, 4 years of learning in a single sentence, look at what you know, act upon it and don’t look back. See how easy that was?


  1. In my case, that information probably is, “I like guys” which was staring me in the face for fifteen years or longer. I’ve finally was pushed into acting on it and there’s no turning back now!

  2. Yep… It really is just that simple. Most things in life are like that until we try and make them so much harder.

  3. Newly arrived here. Like your writing and insight. And your intrepid explorations and honesty!

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