January 2007 – In the next weeks, William and I see quite a bit of each other. We talk on the phone several times during the day. I hang out at his apartment as he putters around doing chores. We go to dinner. We go out. What’s quickly apparent is a genuine like and affection for each other and it’s starts to scare me how comfortable we are together.

The talking to him is tremendously helpful. I come to realize each gay guy has a story. Because of this each one is usually pretty empathetic to me. It helps.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), William actually has a boyfriend, a rather new one who has been out of town on some international jaunt. The return of his BF doesn’t stop our relationship, we both simply go into stealth mode. It’s a bit fun, at first, but we’re both lying and we’re both violating the trust of another. Not what I’d call solid ground for a long term relationship.

Not helping matters, William’s friends, who clearly care about him, quickly want nothing to do with me. I’m bad, I’m horrible.