My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Under the sea, that’s where it’s better, take it from me

On Christmas Eve, I had called TC’s parent’s home in Toronto and his father had answered. Not unusual, he generally just takes a message and that it’s. But today was different, TC’s father suddenly wanted to chat. Nothing of any consequence, we talked about the weather in DC. But I was a bit unnerved, his father had never gone beyond the perfunctory elements of taking a message.

So yesterday morning (Christmas Day), the phone rang at 8.30 a.m., the display said TC and I answered, “Good morning pup” (TC is not longer Tiger Cub BTW, I’ve upgraded him to simply “pup” – I know – so hold your damn comments). A pause on the line and suddenly a masculine voice, TC’s father (again). I utter an apology, a tad embarrassed (as all sweet little pet names are in public). Well, no matter, TC’s father is calling to wish me a Merry Christmas and hope that I am doing well. We exchange pleasantries and that was that. I was speechless.

For the 2 years we’ve lived together, his parents have never really inquired much about me, though they clearly know TC is living with someone and that TC has followed me from London to Germany to Washington. His mother and father have been in our apartment, but I was conveniently out of town. It’s been the classic discussed elephant in the room.

Since I’m only 11 years younger than his father and a mere 23 years older than TC, married, white and two kids – TC thinks this might be problematic for his family to consume in a single setting. In fact, he thinks his father might put the brown mafia on me. It’s not clear to me (sic).

I’m keen to collapse my life, it’s all to complicated to keep these elements up in the air and I seem to have a lot of them. For TC, who is close with his family and despite the common knowledge of his sexuality (hint: if you come home from school and watch Little Mermaid every day, you might be a cocksucker in the making), my existence is shrouded in secrecy. I’m clearly not that open nor am I hiding on the Internet, I prefer the term walk-in closeted.

We all have duality or even multiple sides to our lives. I have to imagine that TC’s family wants him to be happy and have a solid relationship with a quality person. They may struggle with the whole gay element but surely their love and happiness would ultimately overshadow these concerns. So I’m not sure the problem lays with his family, but rather TC’s unwillingness to address this issue with them.

I’m not blaming him. It seems you’re always having to play with a loaded gun when you talk about such stuff and it’s never pleasant.  Time will tell.


  1. Maybe this is their way to reach out. I think it’s a good thing…they probably are happy to have someone “look after” their son!

  2. Hum…………it would appear that his father doesn’t have a problem with TC being gay or having a partner…….sooooooo is TC playing games……with your heart.

  3. I don’t always agree, but hey that’s just the way it is. Basicaly, this is something that I’ve always wondered.

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