Of all the things I’ve done wrong in the last two years, the violation of the trust my wife had for me is clearly my number one mistake. There is no excuse. No reasoning. It is a mistake I’m just going to have to live with and learn from.
Some of us extend trust very quickly to another. Others are more cautious extending it in sections, like a bridge reaching to the other side. No matter how you build it, one violation and the entire structure crumples into a heap. Reconstruction is close to impossible.
Isn’t trust a foundation for any relationship? Honestly, would you want to be friends with someone you didn’t “trust”? A lover you didn’t trust?
I guess my emotional maturity is creeping into this. I try and get excited about people when I meet them. Turned on by the hot body. Tantalized by their mysterious ways. Desiring the things on the surface.
I can’t get past a desire for the basic foundations of trust to be in place first. So many wish to hurry by this important foundation block, “let’s just have fun”. A hook-up. A date. An event.
But life is short and loneliness can be long. We will all learn lessons. Just try not and repeat them.