Postmarked Sydney: The week is done and I’ve spent 27 hours riding around on airplanes. That much time and with nearly no alcohol gave me ample time to think. Re-reading blog entries, I realized I’m kinda in a pissed off mood. But why? I needed to think and think I did and have done. I re-read some more, some of my broad based advice to all of you. I re-read Steve Job’s commencement address for inspiration.
I came to a conclusion.
Despite being well paid, doing pretty much what I want and having the opportunity to live in the Asian region – I basically hate what I’m doing. For the most part, I dislike the people. But I dug deeper. I realized our CEO has created this environment of mistrust and done an excellent job of bringing out the worse in most people. Not helping, this particular company is sliding downwards and no power on the face of the earth can stop it.
I realized I’m wasting my time. I know how this movie ends. But despite that, I thrive on innovation, I thrive on creativity and I like working in an collaborative environment doing something I think might have some meaningful impact. I’m batting zero for the moment.
I’m mad because I don’t see the opportunities in the US. But maybe it’s because I’m not looking in the right place, hanging out with the right people, putting the right effort forth. Like some gay guy who always complains about not getting a date, it’s always because of something they’re not doing.
My work is my true passion and love. I just get all excited about technology. I like to make shit happen, serve as a stimulus for others to succeed, get their passion going as well. This whole “me wanna sucka cock long time” focus has been interesting both for me and for those I’ve observed. But it’s enough. There are bigger more important things to be done.
I need to put a plan into action, give myself a target goal and just get on with what I already know.
In this midst of this, Scrappy and I “celebrated” our 4th year together on October 5th. He’s calling me non-stop from Canada and his tone is uber sweet. He now officially misses me a lot and I miss him. We’ll bring it all back together here in the next weeks. All will be good.
Once again I’m the master of the obvious. When things eventually happen, we all wonder why we didn’t act sooner. I’m guilty and you’ve probably been guilty at some point as well.