My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

This way to happiness

My real telecom job is to be “master of the obvious”. It’s amazing how what is blindly apparent to me, isn’t to the rest of the company. I sit in meetings listening to “intelligent” people discuss really stupid stuff, I then ask 3 equally stupid questions (like why would anyone buy this or that) and the whole concept falls like a house of cards. Funny, people don’t invite me to as many meetings as they used to. We all like to live in relative bliss, real or imagined.

I’m living in bliss right? The best of both worlds. I have a my nice little home life, can put on the straight face and just as easily be off roaming some dance club. But what’s missing from all of this is love. I don’t feel any love anymore except from my children.

Yes, my wife cooks all my favorites, picks out trendy clothes for me. But I’m starting to realize there hasn’t been much love between us for sometime. I usually reach out first.

I’m the aggressive one. I like to be in charge. But the other night in Toronto, I stayed on my side of the bed, hands to myself and waited. Slowly but surely, Chris made his way over to me. I laid there resisting the urge to act. He was going to show me his affection on his terms and I needed to let him. I should just enjoy the moment and I did. Yes, it was a sexual, but not of the X-Tube variety. Warm not hot.

With the onset of cold DC weather, nothing would make me happier than curling up with someone on a the couch, soft jersey pants, toasty blanket, bottle of wine, some grapes and a movie so many times seen you can watch it from any chapter. There in the darkness, a moment together.

Where is the guy in my life that wants that too? I’m available. Operators are standing by. If lines are busy, keep trying, you will get thru.

2 Comments

  1. I’m trying to hold out my cynism!!! I wish it was that simple mate! Keep waiting..someone will call!

  2. Being able to take a break from constantly being the initiator is definitely a nice experience. I think you very clearly stated the case for versatility here. Simultaneously possessing the opportunities to be either the initiator or the object thereof makes for some really incredible moments.
    Just found your blog. Whoa… I went to therapy after coming to my parents to “stop being gay”. I very much so identify with your writing.

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