My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

This just in

My father is 82 years old. Alone in his condo. He still babysits his youngest grandson. His life would likely stop without this activity. He’s German organized and efficient. My mother, late 70’s, divorced, failing health, still drinking, meddling, social and talkative. I’m a product of both of them. My brother calls me now about once a week to say hello. That’s nice. I don’t really know him that well though.

What none of these people know is what has transpired in my life in the last 4 years. They have no clue. They may suspect something is amiss. But no direct questions have been posed.

My non-disclosure is based simply upon (1) I don’t need the aggravation from them trying to ‘help’ me and (2) this isn’t what an 82 year old man needs to worry about right now. My wife and my kids are all accomplices in my continued lie. Contrast this with my wife, who has told all her family, friends, neighbors and I think a small news article was published. She has no reason to be ashamed.

There is reality and our perception of reality. I don’t think for a minute my family won’t be accepting of me. I don’t think there will be anything but support. What are they going to do? Disown me?  If they think that’s bad, let them meet my brown hair dresser boy toy! How cliche!

Let’s keep it real. I’m a chicken shit. It’s that simple. I’ve climbed enough mountains. I’m taking a break. I simply can’t keep pushing this train load of bullshit up a hill every single day. I’m tired of explaining something that most people aren’t really that interested in knowing to begin with.

Ah, wisdom. The reality is, most people simply don’t care. Too busy worrying about their own lives. Perhaps a lesson for me in here someplace.

3 Comments

  1. Chris — well, if you don’t feel the need for your family’s acceptance, then no need to tell them. They also probably feel no reason to pry if everything seems OK, it’s not that they don’t care. It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease and from the outside you probably seem to be a well oiled machine.

  2. Interesting, I came out to my mother when she was 85. Surprised, not at all, not that it made a blind bit of difference to her. The same with all my siblings. But that’s my story and we all have a different one to share.

    Continue sharing yours……I’ve got the complete set, starting from day one.

  3. Chris, Your non-disclosure to your family belies your “people don’t care” mantra. I think we all are a little afraid of what our family will think, I know I am. So take your own advice and tell them – it will not be as bad as you think. Wish I could take that advice…

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