My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

This and that

Thanksgiving is over, new week beginning, it’s clean up day, so some random topics just to tidy up. I survived Thanksgiving, my wife picked at me most of the weekend, but then went off clothes shopping for me returning with a bunch of cool stuff to take to Europe. I’m confused.

“Single in the City” blogger (see link right) is in DC and we’re getting together Tuesday for drinks. We’ve exchanged photos and talked on the phone Sunday. He has a thoughtful & warm writing style which I enjoy but he’s so sick of the whole gay scene. On the phone he brought up my “Score” article (below) and asking if I’d slept with 8 guys in the last year, I should do the simple math for 10+ years of being “out” there and having had 80+ partners. If I thought 8 was bad, 80 is not going to make me much happier. He’s right, it left me depressed.

TC’s birthday was yesterday and I telephoned his parent’s house, luckily he answered. He had a big family celebration and the day before spent making cupcakes with his girl friend. He professed not to have been out on the town since my visit. It’s this innocent sweetness that captivates me. I’m getting anguish, need to slow down, one day at a time, right? He’s not running up his score board. Patience Chris.

Perhaps it’s why I chase younger guys. I’m not interested in getting the quinessential professional gay guy. With a tote board full of conquests and the all knowing “been there, seen that” attitude. Churn & burn thru relationships. Welcome to McDonald’s may I take your order?

I broke down and sent Eduardo and email. It was a heartful note, no games, no angles, just I wanted to say I still thought about him. I know, it’s {insert any nasty adjective of your choosing}, but it made me feel better to reach out to him one last time. Highly likely he won’t respond, but at least I tried. It can be closure for me.

Seeing Prof. Tim this weekend then heading straight over to Europe from Chicago. Looking forward to the visit but with all of the above, my slut impulse power is low. Ah .. pour a couple drinks and get some Latino oozing up against me, nahh, I’ll be fine.

3 Comments

  1. Wow..I get a mention. I seriously do not mean to get you all depressed…you have to stop chatting to me..way too cynical. While single, I probably slept with more than 80 guys each year! LOL

  2. Chris,
    Sorry but we went away for Thanksgiving and I promised myself it would be a real holiday, no emails, no blogs, etc. So I’m catching up.
    Your wife knows what’s going to happen, hence the tears. The boys will be ok, although there will probably be a few rough patches. They will be okay because both of their parents love them and won’t use them as pons.
    As for Chris, looks to me like you’re taking the right attitude…..letting things happen. It was interesting reading your blog about how you let him come to you that night. A different experience for you.
    Have a safe flight to Europe and keep blogging.
    Mark

  3. Did you meet Single Guy – he’s a lovely friend of mine! AND he looks waaaay younger than he actually is! Right up your alley actually! LOL Enjoy! x

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