My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Thinking

Yesterday came and went and for the first time in two years, I didn’t hear from TC. Not a beep, email, IM or sign from above. His best girl friend, perhaps sensing this, called to check on me.  My eyes swelled with tears as I pondered the question am I in love with my tiger or simply scared of what’s ahead.

At some point in your life, you realize you have more days behind you than you do in front. You think about the things you did right, and then there are the things you did wrong. An along the way, the people you’ve met that you wish you could meet again and those you wish you’d never met at all. It’s called life and it’s playing tonight in your hometown, wherever you may be.

I realized that what most attracted me to TC was the adventurer in him. He looks down a dark street and wonders what’s there to discover. Riding in the front car, he would crane his neck to see what was coming around the bend. Good, bad or indifferent, TC just wanted to take life in.

I was forever trying to get him to go to bed. Like a child, he fought bed time. Bed time meant the day was over and that he would never have that day again, it would be gone, gone into the history books and fight he did each and every night to do just one more thing, go down just one more darkened street. There was something left to see or do.

The real joy was that I got to ride alongside him, seeing life through his eyes. Screaming in fear, as I would, at some of the crazy things we did. But for those precious moments, I too, was an adventurer like him. And that is what I love most about TC.

Each of us has something to offer, silently desirous of someone finding that combination code to unlock it from deep within.  It’s not about the clothes you wear, the job you have, the money you make or the condition of your body — it’s your state of mind that we should all be seeking.

So my tiger silently stalks back into the tall grass, off on yet another adventure. Will he return? I don’t know. I hope so.

4 Comments

  1. The best thing about a partner, lover or friend is when they bring out the best in us. I hope you get to experience this again with TC. Whatever the outcome, you have grown as a person from your relationship.

  2. Relax — it’s only been one day. He’s starting a new job and probably consumed with that.

  3. You do wear your heart on your sleeve. TC is all about adventure, he keeps you young…..you allow him adventure…..what’s wrong with that, you’re good for each other…..very good.

  4. Oh. You are really pouring it out there. Good on ya. Let it out. It is cute. You are needy. And it’s ok. It is not a bad thing!

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