My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

There but by the grace of god

I’m talking to a sweet 20 year old Hong Kongese boy (he’s not old enough to be a guy much less a man). I say sweet in terms of personality. He’s tall and lanky, too thin, virtually no body. Hot he is not, cute might also be a stretch, but at my age, I can find merit in almost anyone.

His story though nearly breaks my heart. We are chatting and he is upbeat about his life, but I quickly compare where I was at his age and I quickly start counting my blessings. He is a newly minted gay, has determined he only likes white guys, he’s had his first fling with a French guy on a trip through Europe in June. He was taken in by the French, the guy was nice, took him to dinner, showed him the sights, but he quickly discovered his Frog was married with children and he was just a weekend snack. Ah the French, this is how they roll, it’s accepted behavior. My HK friend is somewhat sad about how he was tricked.

He has not seen his father since he was 7 years old, though his father is remarried and lives in the same neighborhood. His mother can’t speak English and recently lost her job and now competing against throngs of nasty Mainland Chinese who crowd into Hong Kong for the good life. He works in a fancy retail shop and makes USD $4 an hour. He will start university in 2 weeks with a desire to major in European studies. He speaks nearly as good German as he does English, which is unique.

My HK friend is eager to learn, he is eager to please and he is eager be a loyal partner. He is also eager to avoid the traditional pitfalls of gay life.

I hold his hand and explain my situation with a full disclosure of Scrappy. He wants to know all the details, not sexual stuff, he wants to know how Scrappy & I have managed to be together for so long. He is in awe as I explain it’s mostly about Scrappy keeping me on a leash and me avoiding his sharp little claws. He laughs and concludes that Scrappy and I make a nice couple.

We talk, he is eager to learn, hear about the world, it is a big ego boast for me, perhaps I’m too much a fatherly type. I encourage him to go to school, look for opportunities to study in Europe, not get jaded as I have with how the gays behave, laugh much, cry little, but keep up and to the right at all times. He absorbs my information and you can see lights going on as he begins to understand. It was nice to just be nice for a change, with no pretext of anything else.

We must always have hope and always be humble, for no matter where you sit on life’s quality ladder, remember there is always someone lower down from you with a situation far more difficult.



  1. You are such a contrardiction sometimes! Just when I think you may have become too jaded for me to continue getting an insight from your writing, you surprise us with posts like this. I’ve learned this week that no matter what I think I’m going through, given all I know I’ll keep my own set of problems – there are plenty of people I know in a worse situation than me.

  2. Wonderful entry….

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