Tiger Cub arrived yesterday from Prague, looking haggard and worn, obviously he’d found a gay dance club and stayed out late the previous night. Staying in, he’s all curled up on the couch, we’re watching the movie, Bucket List, with Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman. It’s the story of two terminally ill men on a last days adventure.
Freeman’s character is talking about dying and quotes a statistic that 96% of people would not want to know in advance on which day they would die. I hadn’t thought about that. Not sure I wanna know myself, obviously wouldn’t want the word “soon” to be in any notice I receive. Right now though each of us is hurling ourselves through time, writing our own books as we go, but the last sentence in the last chapter in all of our books will be written the same. You’re dead.
So the question of the movie was were you living your life to the fullest?
Are you? Am I? I hope I am, I hope you are too. It’s easy to fall into the trap at my age. Work, bang around the house, eat, watch TV, go to bed, insert and repeat as necessary. I think I fell into this trap. Content, happy. I’m no over achiever (my life long goal is to stay home and watch Animal Planet), but I saw myself living that life.
Looking at TC, he has not an idea in the world what he wants to do. As a certified specialist in those under 25, it’s quite common I find. A directionless youth. So he wanders around, tasting a bit of life, sometimes it bites him back. He’s riding on my coat tails. He needs to get his own coat. But he is trying and exploring. We all should strive for a bit of youth no matter what our real age.
Tonight, I’m going to a Heros club night and sadly you’re not. Tiger Cub already getting jealous, citing a list of things I’m not allowed to do. You though probably should stay home. Home Depot opens early tomorrow you know.
Last night as movie night was ending, Tiger Cub and his warm little brown self were crumpled on the couch, from out of the dark corner I suddenly heard, “I’m going to be lonely without you.” Yes, indeed, we will be.