I’m up early this Sunday morning, getting airborne. Off to hang around with people not on my A-List. But off nonetheless. The skies await.
The visit from TC was too short. We like playing house. He sudden return to Toronto left me a bit cold and lonely. Nothing like the heat of a fire and the sudden realization of how cold it really is outside. At 2.30 this morning, the thin brown mop awakens me on the phone. The sound of some distant bar, friends chattering in the background, he needs to tell me he loves me. Drunken emotions I figure, I accept his call, profess my undying love and hang up.
Six minutes later, he calls again, we’re still on the same topic, but this time he starts to cry. There in a Toronto bar. Middle of the night. Surrounded by friends. I’m not sure what has set this off, the drink, the late hour, it’s cold in Toronto, a random comment from someone. TC is emotional but he usually doesn’t get all worked up even when he’s been drinking.
We have an enormous emotional jigsaw puzzle before us and the pieces never seem to fit. We both have wished we would wise up, recognize some unworkable situation, or better awoken to find fractured fault with one another. Both of our circumstances pushing us closer to the grinding wheel. Perhaps though this is one great love story and this is yet just another chapter. But yet we so want yet another chapter, one of more easy living, to appear.
The complexities of gay relationships are on a good day with the sun shining are a difficult matter. Add in the typical stubbornness and independence that gays tend to have. Sprinkle in any external factors and please don’t add the whole spice rack as I’ve seen to have done.
I head into the skies, all grown up, life just sometimes won’t stop sucking.