Professor Tim is breaking up with his partner of 10 years, they’re both in their late 30’s. Or rather, they’ve BEEN breaking up now for the last year. It’s Professor Tim’s doing. He was unsatisfied with the declining and unexciting sex. He professed his partner didn’t have much sexual drive. The instigation of this breakup was a mid-20’s guy who Tim meet and took a fancy too.
The mid-20’s guy enjoyed Tim’s attention and while he didn’t do anything to say he was interested in Tim, he clearly didn’t fend off Tim’s interest in him. Who doesn’t enjoy attention? Well Tim realized the grass was greener on the other side and started the break-up process. His partner was keen to try and work it out and wanted to seek counseling, but Tim would have none of that. During these trying time, Tim hung out with the mid-20’s guy under the nose of his current partner, who you might imagine was quite prickly about this.
Tim’s partner is the ‘woman’ in this relationship, meaning he had all the social connections, was responsible for decorating the house and arranging the calendar of events. Tim just rode along for the most part. The partner held on, hoping Tim would ‘right himself’. He asked Tim to stop hanging out with the mid-20’s person while they sorted their problems. No deal. There were days however where it seemed they would get back together. Many long and emotional talks ensued.
Ultimately, Tim’s partner decided he was fighting a losing war and began a long process of buying another home and moving out. They started to live like roommates. Ships passing in the night. The partner has supposedly found a place and is moving in 2 weeks now.
Tim is on the phone with me whining about how he’s going to find someone else. The mid-20’s guy and he hang out a lot, but the mid-20’s guy has demonstrated no love interest in Tim and worse now has a boyfriend who he hangs out with a little (the “a little” part worries me about this guy and his own emotions). Tim worries that he hangs out with the mid-20’s guy as a BF and won’t really try and seek someone else. Similarly, he doesn’t want to be lonely, enjoys the better the BFF companionship.
Does this story sound the least bit familiar? Tim reaping the seeds he sown isn’t he. Sadly, he doesn’t much care for the crop this year. It’s funny how anyone whose played Dr. Laura for even 5 minutes could have seen this train wreck coming, yet Prof. Tim continued down the tracks well aware of the disaster that lie ahead. I understand though, fully, we’ve all ridden these tracks before.