February 2007 – Return to the main story. I’m sitting at the kitchen table with my wife, we’ve completed the first counseling session. What I haven’t told you is my wife is clearly aware that I have the "hots" for Ken. She’s meet him a couple of times, he’s come over for dinner, likes him, thinks he’s gay and believes I have a crush on him (but that’s it).

My wife starts the conversation, "I know you have a crush on Ken" let’s talk about this. She opens, I return the bid. I start to tell my story, I need to tell the whole story, but better not tip the contents of this nasty can of used oil all at once.

"I’m questioning my sexuality", I reply. Open bay doors, bombs away. "It’s been going on for a long time."

My wife tears up almost immediately. How long have I known? What have I done? The conversation continues for over an hour. But, I see the pain I’ve inflected upon her, the person I love and care about, I can’t tell her the whole story. "I’ve got a crush on Ken and I’m questioning my sexuality", this will be all I’m willing to disclose at this point.

This was another mistake.