My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

That’s another fine mess I managed to get myself into

I survived DC PRIDE, not sure how much I relate to all of this, I especially can't figure out Lesbians, but then they probably don't care what I can or can't figure out. I was too busy telling everyone about TC. Prof. Tim probably drank more than usual simply to endure me.

So my recipe so far. Take a 47 year old, married guy, kids, nice lifestyle, picture perfect and go all gay. Hee haw. Interesting but not a super big deal, happens all the time, it's hip to be fruity. Let spice it up and add my love interest, a 23 year old brown pop tart (otherwise known as TC), crispy on the outside all gooey on the inside. Yeah, now we're talking. Old guy goes for new model, good gossip but here again, not anything terribly inventive. But wait – there's more. Let's mix in the fact that this love relationship now spans 4 countries wel, now we're getting interesting.

TC and I on the phone several times a day. We're both love sick and want to get back together, warm and cuddly. I did tell him I'm likely to rape his ass the next time we see each other. I think he's looking forward to it. Ah … ain't we sweet.

The challenges ahead are formidable. Can you imagine TC with his family? "Mom, dad, I have no job, no money, no idea what I want to do with my life, but I've decided to fly to Germany to be with my 47 year old boyfriend, be home soon.. Dad – you'd really like him, plenty of things you two have in common." If you hear a big clanging noise, that would be the sound of the Canadian border closing as his father rushes to sign a petition allowing handguns.

Let's also not forget the minor issue of residency. A Canadian just doesn't wander into any country and set-up shop. It's tough to get legal residency status in both the US and Europe. An the odds of me moving to Canada, are odd. Get married for residency? You can in Europe, can't in Land of the Free, Home of the Brave America.

I'm the mature one. I should know better and I need to watch out for TC and myself. Do you have the guts to make the tough call and live with the consequences? Maybe I need to tell him, it's been nice, but this is too hard and he needs to get his life sorted in Canada, add him as a friend on Facebook and just call it a day, no hard feelings. We'll both sniffle a bit. Be sad for a couple of weeks and then someone new will come along and the next disaster will start.


  1. You are so lucky that you are butch and don’t look gay. Let those nasty lesbians think what they want; they just can’t appreciate how complex and interesting the life of a straight gay man is like. Your toasty little cub can’t possible be left to fend for himself in Canada , so I am sure you are speaking tongue in cheek. Your love and intellectual connection with that 23 year old is so apparent. As I have said many times before, I have rarely seen such a mature relationship, never mind anyone’s age. Both of you are soul mates, connecting on all levels – emotional, spiritual, friendship, conversation, common interests, and I dare say even really good sex. I bet that once TC tells his parents how meaningful this is, and how much the both of you have to offer the other, they will come around and see it your way. The rest of us have so much to learn from you.

  2. Chris,
    You’ve been exploring this theme for months now….maybe you ought to think of yourself as the new Isherwood and TC can be your Don Bachardy. If you’ll recall Isherwood met Bachardy on the beach when he was 49 and Bachardy was 19. Despite all the odds, they were together for the rest of his life until he passed away at 81.
    Besides you love challenges, it’s time to accept this one and have a go at it.

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