My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Striving for normal

TC is here and much to report, earth, wind and fire, sometimes all on the same night. But for now I thought I would pass this along to you. One of the challenges I’ve had is trying to find normal gay guys. Normal by meaning no sexually references in the first 30 seconds of meeting. No strange relationships or behaviour. No drama. I am OK if they watch “Housewives of New York City” as a weekend activity.

So I drag TC to a gay professional event. We get all fixed up. Business attire, nice slacks, jacket. Off we go. We arrive to a group of mostly middle aged men. A friendly environment. A nice black professional guy is chatting away with me and TC has hinted, “I think he’s interested in you”. The guy asks if “we’re together”. Like a proud father, I beam that we nearing our 3 year anniversary. For a moment, I thought he was going to faint. His eyes got big and wide and all he could muster was a ‘wow’. I smiled widely, daring myself to kick in “… and you should have seen my last boyfriend if you think this one is good”. He quickly wandered off. TC kicked me as I chuckled away.

From out of nowhere, an older guy (meaning > 40) approached us and made an introduction. Wearing standard issue government contractor clothes (a worn coat and goofy tie), he quickly launched into normal conversation. Nice middle aged perhaps lonely guy. We were talking about various groups and how to meet people.

He pulls out his wallet and begins to extract a business card. OK that’s nice. Unfortunately, the card we got is shown in this photo. A half naked picture of him in leather. No shit.

He hands one to TC and myself, like I might pass a normal business card. I’m looking at this thinking — WTF. I just met this character and he hands me this card. The conversation changes to how he likes to run around naked and obviously he’s not alone, entire bands of middle aged guys go off into the woods to get naked and cook hot dogs.

I gulp my drink down, look at my watch. “My god, honey, we’re going to be late” and with that flew out of the venue. Back to our apartment, door bolted, we cook dinner and curl up to watch TV.

I’m now yelping about how I can’t deal with this. TC, defending the whole gay community, implores that I may not be getting a true sense of what’s out there. True sense? Are you reading this blog? It’s crazy man.

We awoke late this morning, entwined like two pythons. I didn’t want to get up and I’m clearly not venturing out of the house, not as long as I have a brown tiger in the cage.


  1. Chris, from a lot of angles, you are just the same or even worse than most of the gay people you’ve condemned. There are all kinds of people in all groups. Just live your own life and stop worrying too much about other people’s life.

  2. Normally, I don’t comment on any “comments”. I wrote what I wrote and said what I said. However Mr. T got my feathers up. I don’t give a rats ass what you do with your life. It’s your life. However, to hand a total stranger at a semi-business style in the first 5 minutes a half naked card and start to tell the group how you like to “run around naked”. No fucking thanks. I’m all full up on crazy already. Take your show somewhere else. It ain’t right, straight or guy. I remained – bolted in my apartment – Chris 🙂

  3. I agree with Chris. Handing out this card is completely inappropriate.

    The bigger issue is, aren’t there any normal gay guys over 40? So many guys over 40 are just too hardcore for me. The leather, fetishes, etc…..yuck.

  4. Wow…. I don’t get this either how men in that age would hand out cards like that. Who does that?? I’m with Rob on this one. Even on grindr, people are on who are ‘looking for fun on the side’ when they’re in a relationship, or if not that, in an open one.

    There are normal ones out there though, just gotta wade through the rest first. I met my best friend off of a site notorious for hook ups, but everyone’s not on there just for it.

  5. I’m not talking about the one that handed you the card, Chris. I’m talking about how you use your language and how you degrade gay people as a whole. Take a look at yourself in the mirror sometimes.

  6. Chris: You seem to bring the perv out in people — just kidding. But I agree with you, I would be taken aback by this behavior at the business function you described.

  7. man..dont tell me the singles scene in DC is fucked up!

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