Single in the City guy (he’s so cute) and I have been exchanging emails. He’s being supportive to the storm I’m preparing to face down. In our dialogue, a few important points that I think are of interest to you were raised.
He reckons, as a middle aged guy with a solid foundation and history of maintaining a long term relationship. I’m sorta of a ‘catch’ for another guy. I’m playing out in the open, no major hang ups, have for the most part done the right thing by my family and clearly want all this integrated as much as possible. Plus I’m hot n’ happening (I added that bit).
When I entered the gay world, I was quite insecure and un-knowledgeable. What I have discovered is that gays who came out in their teens or twenties, are often still coming out, have a host of insecurities about themselves, family, friends, even into their 30’s they carry with them the emotional scars of the process. Given a chance, these guys will project these insecurities on to you. I often felt like I was the only leper in the colony. One of the best lines of BS one fruit told me is the he felt I had cheated the system because I had hidden by being married and didn’t have to go thru a tortuous ‘coming out’ process. If you’re likely wobbling about yourself, this is exactly what you don’t need, some f’d up fruit trying to rattle your own cage.
So take the reins, realize you’re in charge and that you have a lot to offer. But as you noted, I have little empathy for the grown up married guy trying to bounce between worlds on a long term basis. Get on with your program. Fish or chicken. Clearly there are married guys who want some action on the down low and I’m OK with it (like they needed my permission), at least they have a clear grip on what they want (though being unfaithful instills it’s own problems).
A new week is coming up, much work and TC back purring and growling as he does.