My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Statistics are interesting

Yesterday, my business partner screwed up one of our Google ad campaigns and started advertising in India and the next thing we know all these web hits coming from India are flooding in. He’s rushing to go turn it off and I’m thinking about brown boys. Brown. Hmmm.

India is land of ~1.1 billion people (hard to count’em they won’t stand still). The India culture is not female friendly, males are the king of the family. Ratio of male to female is 1.11:1. Long sordid history of female babies dying ‘unexpectedly’ amongst the poor. Even among the wealthier, a family with one girl, is much more likely to have a 2nd child than if they had a boy as their first child

Clearly amongst this massive male population there must be a fair number of homos on the loose. BUT just try and find Indian porn. There’s some straight stuff (not much) and virtually zero gay porn, it’s a clear sign.  The country only de-criminalized ‘gay behaviour’ only in 2009. I’ve noticed even in the online communities in the US and UK of all ilks, there is few gay Indians up for grab.

Now unless India has discovered how to un-gay someone, they’ve got some big ass closet over there filled to the brim with homos of all sorts. More importantly, they most be horribly miserable. Not free to express themselves or be themselves, they likely get married, have children, hang with their extended family and surf white boy porn at great personal risk. So no matter how bad you think you’ve got it, India must truly suck.

Of course, god has a way of repaying all debts. The Indian Health Ministry was shocked to discover that between 10-15% of pregnancies in India was due to condom failure. They set about to understand why this was occurring and after studying 1000’s of Indian men found out that the avg penis size was smaller than normal. Hence, the condom was simply off during the dirty deed. The World Health Organization, who is responsible for int’l statistics, was called in to confirm this (probably have a Director of Penis Length, you can count on gov’t agencies to have such silliness). As a result, manufacturers had to create a series of new condoms to fit the less than well endowed Indian population. I’m not kidding you, Google it!

At 6 a.m. my own brown puppy is calling me, he is lost walking in the outer suburbs of London, he can’t find his cousins house (he’s been there before), didn’t write down the address and doesn’t have the phone number and since me (Mr. Organized) has all the info, I’m his personal 4-1-1 service. I’m still thinking about B-R-O-W-N. 🙂

1 Comment

  1. So Chris, are you considering a holiday trip to India to help kick open their “closet” door……or is it off limits also?

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