My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story


Single in the City had a dialog with me that I’m still thinking about. Seems he’d organized to meet someone for a coffee online, proper date and all, guy turns up, walks over to the table, sizes him up and pronounces “sorry, you’re not my type” and walks off. SIC sits there deflated, what kind of battle was that. Sounded like a conversation right out of The Matrix. You’re not the one.

As a marketing person, let me give you fruits some bad news — there are simply not that many of you out there. Despite all the cocks you think you see flying by, you are an insignificant market share amongst the general population. Even in big cities, you don’t have to go out long, before you see the same people. On-line same thing and let’s not talk about the cesspool on craigslist.

It’s all a big business of subtraction. Minus out guys in relationships, guys not interested in relationships, guys who live too far away, too old, too fat, too something and the 95% percentile, guys who have some sort of problem. Then as the night wears on, you get hornier and drunker and then it’s “ah what the hell, he’ll do for tonight”. Come on folks, aren’t you just a tad more intelligent?

Or the well worn track of, I’ll hold on to you for now, while I keep my radar going for my next victim. A classic that never gets old.

I’m not dismissing spontaneous combustion. I met my wife as a 100% total stranger in a hair salon. TC was found at airport baggage claim (he still refuses to wear those little tags). Both fully believe I should be banned from public spaces. Both initially thought (and have circled back now to believe) that I am a total nut job.

My point in all this is please please please, take the time to give the other person a full sniff and walk about. Maybe you will never get struck by the love bug, maybe you’re going to have to earn those stripes, maybe it won’t be a roaring fire, but a warm simmer. Ignore your preconceived notions, close your eyes and recognize that you’re fundamentally fighting some pretty tough statistics and damn it you’re gonna have to modify your search criteria in order to get enough hits.


  1. Yes. Dating in Sydney is tough. You are totally sized up in 5 seconds and it is cut throat out there.

  2. Wonderul advice. And your partner is who? LOL.

  3. I still think you’re a nut job – but in a charming sort of way. 😛 Really nice to come back to your no BS incisive style prose – been missing it. 🙂

  4. Yes yes we need to do more than sniff. Hell he might have a hilarious sense of humor which can be more satisfying in the long run.

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