I’ve arrived in Sydney after being in Hong Kong for the last 2 months. My first reaction — wow what a shithole this city is. People are poorly dressed, the city seems dirty and unkempt and on this Sunday night – I’m scared, the city seems deserted. It’s a marked contrast from when I first arrived, but now having Hong Kong as a new reference point, Sydney is clearly many points done the scale.
This scale translates as well to the online gay “dating” websites. In Hong Kong, the Asian guys write nice profiles about themselves, sometimes with no face picture (often a picture of a flower or landscape), but rarely anything hardcore. They also seem open to a wide range of age & physical types.’
Contrast that with Sydney, the number of hardcore photos is exponential, even late 40’s guys posing with great bodies and rock hard dicks. The writing is equally graphic and direct “don’t send me an email if you don’t look like me”, “no GAM (Gay Asian Males)”, “only real men, no fems” and on it goes. I suspect after 6 months away, Single in the City is going to have a rude awakening upon his return (and NO Melbourne isn’t much better).
My point is not to bash Sydney or say that Hong Kong is the greatest thing (have a few chicken feet and we can talk). Rather, that sometimes you have to radically change or get away from things for a period of time to get a renewed prospective. You have to go out, before you can go in.
Having said that, if you do get a renewed prospective, you may have to act on it. You can’t change how that world works, you may have to change worlds.
I sense many gay men get caught in circular loops in their relationships, lifestyles and prospective. A few spins around this washing machine and they get hardened, jaded or the mother of all whores. Some (and probably more than I see) do make peace and move on down the road. But it is easy to get caught in the eddy currents.