My wife is holed up on the dining room floor for an hour today talking to her sister-in-law in Germany. Hushed tones, murmurs come from the room. Something is afoot.
Turns out her brother, Anthony, a boyish looking 42 yo devoted father of 3, has been caught in an affair. Worse, he'd been caught earlier in the year and professed it was over. Only a received SMS text in the middle of the night last week, had uncovered that it wasn't over. The woman's husband (who lives in the neighborhood) has angerly come over to tell Anthony to "stay away from my wife". The woman, in question, is head of the school PTA and they'd meet at school. I'm just giddy.
What is the root problem? The sister-in-law is a large girl, motherly and teaches school. I ain't doing her that's for sure. But, it seems Anthony wanted to have sex every night and she was just worn out from school work and raising 3 kids. Anthony works as a manager in the car industry and was laid off last year for some months, alone, he professed that she didn't give him much attention.
Men, we're all such little boys aren't we. Sexual infidelity is like getting a new squeaky toy. Exciting, fun, mysterious and just plain hot. Perhaps the root is a couple just not talking openly, scared for the truth to emerge, fearful of sparking an argument, embarrassing another, asking a really hard question. My wife and I rarely fought, it was all bliss nor did my sister-in-law and her husband.
I'm still wondering why I effectively cheated on TC this summer. Certainly not because of sex nor boredom and to be honest it really wasn't all that exciting with the cheator. Nor was it for lack of attention from TC. So why? Perhaps because I was concerned that TC wasn't fully committed to me and I wanted to ensure I had a squeaky toy in reserve. Men don't suffer alone well.
Whatever the answer, cheating is the sign of something deeper.