My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Sex or money or both

I’m sure you’ve heard but can’t remember the truth-ism that couples only fight about two primary topics – sex & money. I’m scared to say, but it’s fundamentally true.

I booked Scrappy Doo’s plane ticket to arrive in Sydney for Friday. In providing him the flight details, he casually mentioned that he has no idea where his VISA credit card is. I blew a fuse on him for being so immature and irresponsible. Since I’ve known Scrappy he has lost numerous ATM bankcards and twice his VISA card.

I realized now why Eduardo, the Mexican guy, has stuck in my mind. Here is a young man, roughly the same age as Scrappy, who has a responsible job, his own apartment and looking to move to Paris to do a 1 year MBA. This dude has his shit together. I could never in a million years imagine having a shared bank account with Scrappy. He is either too stupid or too lazy or perhaps (I’ll lean on this one) just can’t be bothered.

I also realized I do all the planning in the relationship. This isn’t a partnership. This is me doing the work. Scrappy rides around like some princess in a carriage. Yes, he does make a house a home. Yes, he is very social with my friends and his own. Yes, he is terribly sweet.

But I sat there at dinner and looked at Sad Sack (otherwise known as Single in the City). Yes, he’s a graying dog but he mostly has his life together. All he wants is someone to ‘do’ him a couple of times a week ,take him to a nice restaurant on Friday’s and cuddle with him at night and not be skanking around on Grinder. He would be happy. Yes, he would want to talk about feelings all the time and get all thinkie as homos do. But if you drank a bit more, smacked him on the ass and pretty much acted committed, he would leave you in peace. Now why in god’s name wouldn’t any guy wanna go for that on a permanent basis. OK – so he doesn’t cook (major minus points) but you could send him to school for that (giving you a weekly free night out with the boys).

I realized that all of my big fights with Scrappy have had to do with money. I worry as I get older, the odds of Scrappy stepping up to handle stuff isn’t likely to happen. I could never imagine Scrappy making a life or death decision for me (nor would I want him). Eduardo, on the other hand, I could see him being mature enough to where I could put my faith and trust in him.

This isn’t some ‘coming out’ issue, this is a classic relationship problem. I love Scrappy. I’ve learned to accept or ignore selective attributes about him (and no doubt he has about me as well), but money is a kinda of high on my list of things not to fuck up. What to do?

PS:  There are so many cute Asians here I am on the verge of being unable to control my soy sauce.


  1. I get the feeling you like guys without their shit together. You like being the possibly if he had his shit together you would not be interested ? no…here I go again..thinking too much. I’m a total catch. I am a good boyfriend. I do not understand why I’m single. I suspect in Europe that will change!

  2. Sad sack…why you little…LOL

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