My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Save the pineapple

Prof. Tim is in Hawaii and I realized I'm not. Isn't that sad? Shouldn't I be in Hawaii too? I mean, TC hasn't banned me from Hawaii (yet). Prof. Tim also doesn't speak much Hawaiian and I'm almost fluent. I could really help.

Been scanning other blogs, seems a lot of guys hit a moment when they desire gay friends versus the hook-up buddy. With the sole exception of Prof. Tim, I don't have any gay "friends". TC, gay since 13 and went to an art's school, has a bunch, he finds comfort either way.

It would be nice to have other gay friends. But in the same sentence, what does sexuality have to do with being a friend to someone? Wouldn't it be like having friends who were only left handed? Would I want a friend who was only a "top" or "bottom"? You see how the variations can start. Nonetheless, gay guys do have a certain understanding for me but clearly of top importance is that they were a friend, that we shared similar interest and got on well.

Sadly, my efforts to reach out to gay guys here in Washington, Germany and the UK didn't pan out. It's hard to create friends, people are busy, wonder about why you want to be their friend or simply can't be bothered. I guess there's also the added element amongst gay guys of motivation, read, does this guy wanna have sex with me.

So for Prof. Tim – skip sending me the pineapple, I've got another idea as a Christmas present.


  1. Chris,
    I think part of your problem with having “gay” also known as “left handed” friends is that you haven’t settled any place yet. How can you expect friendship when you’re never really in one place for very long.
    I think for now you’ll have to settle for “us” your readers……you can be anyplace but we’re still here.

  2. Join a gay organisation like PFLAG (you can always volunteer) and you will find heaps of friends. 🙂

  3. Hey how ya doing, have you ever tried Recon? This guy is just looking mostly for friends too:
    -and no he didn’t post this, I’m just a friend. 🙂

  4. Hi, Chris
    I hear you. It’s hard for me to make friends in middle age, being something of an introvert. Still, the gay community in DC is bigger than the club scene. Poke around at In the resources you will find lots of groups whose focus is other than hooking up for a night. Outdoors groups, sports groups, political action, trade associations (no, not rough trade); you will find something there that is worth a try. I have made good friends in a gay AA group and in NM Outdoors. I haven’t really maintained them well, but that’s my own fault.
    Good luck,

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