I’m in Amsterdam. Now before you go making all kinds of assumptions on what I’ve been doing. Stop. I’m being good. I’m in a relationship. Two relationships actually.

I’ve been emailing my wife. It’s all friendly. But suddenly, I realized she’s ok with what’s happening. She’s over it. Unfortunately, I’m not. I’m still checking women out. I’m still kinda confused. Now for you folks in the cheap seats, this movie must be playing with an easy to follow plot. But for me in every scene it’s not.

I’m troubled with a comment by my wife that, “Right now you believe you have issues, therefore you’re likely attracting people who have issues themselves”. Damn if she isn’t good. I don’t even have to tell her anything. Like a sixth sense, she just knows.

I’m happy she’s OK. But suddenly, I’m all alone. What have I done? What am I doing? Jesus – I’m still checking women out. I think even TC raises an eyebrow. I’ll chat up anyone. Gay guys don’t do that.

It’s still feeling grey for me. I sense that living with TC will provide some definitive answer. Reduce both our stress levels and we’ll see what the emotional connection is. More important what will be my emotional connection to guy (cute as he may be).