My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Learn by me, not from me

I have a old story to tell you, that was updated today. Just prior to TC in late 2007, I had a near hook-up with this Asian guy who I’d met online. I went to meet him in a hotel. Mid-20’s, he looked like he was 12. He really was mainly interested in having a snap, crackle, pop moment but stupid me, I got to talking there sitting on his hotel bed and realized he was quite intelligent, I mean I actually enjoyed talking to him, someone I might want to date. I also realized hookups were pointless, a road to nowhere. So I went home, nothing happened.

Since we had met on line, he had given me a name, clearly it wasn’t his “real” name. Classic Asian, he was very secretive. Classic me, I went into spy mode. Unfortunately, he left two little pieces of useless information not even about him on the hotel room desk and I quickly memorized it. Intelligence gathering is more about gathering data first and applying intelligence later.

An hour of searching various systems and I had my boy. Photos, resume, email address, real name, addresses, telephone numbers and a world of data on my crispy little friend. He was indeed a very intelligent person, from a good family and by all aspects doing the rights things in his life. I liked him actually and was glad I now had the truth confirming what I had felt.

But like a classic hook-up, or in this case, near hook-up, I never heard back from the guy. Big f*cking surprise. I left it and went on. That is until this week (now over 2 years ago), somehow he accidentally send a broadcast IM message which included me for some strange reason about his latest YouTube video. An obvious mistake, but curious cat that I am, up popped the video. He was doing some lecture and damn he still looks like he’s 12 years old.

Like a 20/20 story gone bad I looked my crispy critter back up, he’s now a fellow at Harvard University, doing post doctoral work and guest lecturing. I could barely understand the topics of his study, too many long words. He’s one smart guy, with a trailing list of various awards and diplomas.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone. So I sent him an email to his now Harvard address to say “hello”. Much to my surprise, he engaged in an nice email dialog with me, offered to have dinner if I were in Boston. He is truly a very nice person and truth be know, I wouldn’t mind seeing him.

I know you’re waiting on the punch line. The punch line is his actual studies. He’s an expert in cognitive learning!

Cognitive learning is about enabling people to learn by using their reason, intuition and perception. This technique is often used to change peoples’ behaviour. But people’s behaviour is influenced by many factors such as culture, upbringing, education and motivation. Therefore cognitive learning involves understanding how these factors influence behaviour and then using this information to develop learning programmes.

I thought it ironic that he was engaged in the meaningless “going nowhere” world of hook-ups, while studying the very field where his learned logic should be applied.

TC UPDATE: Is no news good news? I haven’t heard ‘beep’ from my pet. Didn’t think I would, he’s probably having to stay on board the ship the first days working. I miss him. My life for the moment is the the same.

3 Comments

  1. No TC update??? what will I do now that desperate housewives is on re runs??

  2. I continue to be amazed at the super intelligent professional guys I meet in places like craiglist, gay.com or manhunt. They are looking for love too!

  3. Is this a little bit like stalking?

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