My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Put me on the gentle cycle

Every now and again, one of you readers will post some comment that serves to agitate me. Poor little Steve, there in Hungary, could have stayed happy munching away on a Chimney Cake (otherwise known as a Kürtőskalácsm, the ‘c’ is silent), but no he has to rattle my cage. Based upon an in-depth analysis of my blog, he has decided I’m not gay or straight but have the dreaded “bi-sexual”  me wanna hump hump everything disease.

Gee thanks, just what I needed to hear. With my new apartment, I now get LOGO TV, full of colorful fruits around the clock. I was watching a program the other night, the “A-List”, about New York City homos and I must say, I almost got physically sick. The homos tended to come in only two flavors, girlie boy with the gay mannerisms and the ‘he man’ look at my body muscle set (still with a girlie voice).

I started thinking about the event the other night. Bunch of dirty old man. It’s the look deep in their eyes that scare me the most, hardcore, let me show you my fist look. Then I have Single Guy, like a hamster on a wheel, round and round he goes. And lets not forget, Tiger Puff, who ran like a girl down the sidewalk in New York because he saw a rat (granted they have big rats in NYC).

So no, I haven’t really identified with the gay community. I’m unsure why guys take their shirts off in bars, not like they have big boobs to oogle at, muscles don’t do anything for me. Or the fruit fairy, wearing outlandish clothes. Or the twinke boy, J. Crew tight ass, Miss Priss with a fag hag in tow. No – none of these folks rotate my gyro.

But yet here I am.

I have met  previously married gay men, many of whom it was clearly obvious I was dealing with a big ole’ bottom. How some of these guys pulled it off, I’ve no idea. I love the shock they expressed at having to deal “with such trauma”. Lack of courage would seem top on my list.

In NYC last week, I was scoping out a girl while TC was “shopping” (more like purchasing the store). He came over and asked if I was ‘checking her out’. Yup. For the first time, I think he realized I was dead serious. Now you could insert my Powder Puff into a sea of naked woman and he’d talk about fashion and hair, oblivious to the environment. Me, I could be trouble.

But yet here I am.


  1. Chris,
    If one takes the view that our sexuality is constantly evolving, then what is so wrong with being bisexual? Even if we are bi, it doesn’t mean that we would have want sex with every man we see or with every woman. Although I have no experience with guys at all, for me it might most likely be about an attraction to the “person.”

    My beef: if 40ish, married guys like us say we’re bisexual, aren’t the commonest responses either (1) you are in deep denial about your gayness or (2)your bisexuality is just a pit stop on the way to gay. For many years (but not recently) I absolutely loved making love to my wife; I cannot believe that my desires and feelings weren’t real.

    By the way, I’ve just done a second post on my own blog. Ya…just what the world needs, another fruit whining into the blogosphere. I just thought it would be a more efficient way to share my story and hopefully benefit from excellent advice rather than individually e-mailing lots of different gay/bi married guys.

  2. I’m sorry that I agitated you. Your right I have had a look at your site and it seems to me that you (as per your last post) talk about checking out women occasionally and how you found your wife sexually attractive. Is it really so bad or warped from reality to suggest that your might not be 100% gay. I myself identify as bisexual and pretty much a kinsey 4. I don’t have sex with everyone. I have sex with with 2 people a man and woman that I am committed to long term. No it’s not for everyone but it works for me and all are aware what’s going on.
    You say you struggle with gay culture and find it difficult to fit in. I have found that too. What I realised was that much (not all) of gay culture is a reaction to homophobia and whilst that is a good thing, it can be very limiting when one has only so many years on this planet.
    p.s not so much of the “little steve” thank you!

  3. Chris: I think I have said this before and I still subscribe to the notion that all sexual animals (male and female) fall somewhere between TG (Totally Gay) and TS (Totally Straight) on the following:

    TG – – – – – – – – – – – BI – – – – – – – – – – – TS

    BI is just a label that fills the gap between the two. The rest (including mannerisms and preference) is just fluff… and one’s place mark on the scale is not static…

  4. Hi Chris,

    Hilarious. I wish we got LOGO..not gay enough here….I’m not going around. i went on a date..non date.

  5. Chris: I’m not sure what you are, but I do know you are entertaining as heck.

  6. Hi Chris,
    This is the first time I’ve ever commented on a blog but felt I had to because I identified with your comment about not fitting in to the gay community. I’m 57 and am going through a divorce. Just got back from Key West where there were all the options for me that you mentioned – drag bars with beautiful men/women, porn bars with guys completely naked going at it in a jail type setting where anyone can watch, gay for pay dick dancers who wouldn’t give you the time of day unless you stuck a bill in there jock and for whom any original thought would die of loneliness. Where are the places where guys can go to meet real men who could possible be “the one”. These other places are fun for the moment but kind of get old.
    BTW – LOGO is great. There are some good shows/movies. Enjoy

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