I don’t seem to heed my own advice. I’ve often written that you shouldn’t try and change too many variables in your life at once. Make a plan, make it realistic and then execute step-by-step. Try not to push too many buttons at once.
I am moving apartments this weekend, the current place is too expensive and too big. I trash up whatever available space I have so might as well have less space and save money. I’m literally moving 1 floor up. Nonetheless it’s stressful. TC has resumed his nocturnal nature and sound asleep at this mid-morning hour, but he will awaken and start complaining about his need to have a plan and expecting me to generate one. Adding to misery, my own business is sliding sideways into what appears to be a jersey wall. God please send me some good news.
No matter your age or station in life, the future is always uncertain (unless you work for the federal government) and there is always remorse about opportunities you missed. TC sits and ponders why he didn’t chase his musical career earlier in life and what he will do in the future and how he will get there. Life it seems is a constant barrage of doors opening and closing with sometimes only a split second that you have to react.
Wherever you are, it’s the most important time in your life. Guys in their 20’s focused on looking ahead, the 30’s realizing that doors are closing behind you and me today pondering whether that even is a door.
If there is any good news for the moment, the return of TC has removed any focus I had on the gay community. With him here, I simply live my life unconcerned about others around me.