My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story


Our chief legal counsel, Gary, sent me a terse one line email. He’s all pissed off at me, I’d chatted with our CFO about hurrying our legal & accounting departments along to conclude the new rental agreement in Germany. Gary’s one line email said, “You can contact me as easily as Jim, I think. gmf (his initials)“.

Now my first reaction was a quick “f*ck you, strong letter to follow” reply.  That always seems to make me feel better. But I played nice and wrote a sweet response. Little does he know I’m having a private dinner tomorrow with the CEO where I will defly and elegantly throw him under the bus (you all know – I’m not a nice person).

Now I didn’t response with a nasty reply, because I know that our chief lawyer has been under the gun from a number of executives all pissed off at our legal department. He’s feeling the heat, in defensive mode against anything he deems a threat. You see, I have empathy for him even though he’s a shitty lawyer and probably needs to go elsewhere.

But Gary didn’t show a whole lot of empathy for me. Gary didn’t stop for a second to think. Here’s Chris. Must be someone, he’s the only employee we’re paying to live off shore. Paying him a ton of money. Paying for all his expenses. He’s probably helping us to sell this piece of shit for a company I work for. Gee – wonder where he’s staying now? Didn’t we just do his London apartment contract? How is it to be away from his home so long? Maybe I should just call him to see what the real situation is? He’s probably a good guy.

No Gary just worried about himself, he took an innocent comment the wrong way and instead of thinking (something he should be able to do as he’s in his mid-50’s), he decided to sent me a little crappy one line note to try and make my day a little shitter, put me in my place.  And for that the I will work each and every day to f*ck him over. All because he failed to have a little empathy. Hardly seems worth the effort.

But enough about Gary. Have I failed to have empathy? Empathy for my wife, my kids, TC, my co-workers, a waiter in a restaurant, a person on the street. I’m afraid probably. So it’s Saturday night, I’m in yet another hotel room, wondering how can I be a better person. Geez – it’s a lot of work.

The photo is the total collection of “stuff” that TC has in our hotel suite.


  1. That’s a lot of stuff!!! 🙂

  2. Love – a verb – to give to another, meeting their needs, without any motive of receiving reward in return.
    Forgive – a verb – to give up all claim, to cancel a debt, to eliminate resentment.
    Love, forgive, that’s pretty much anyone can ask…seems easy, but we all know how hard it really is to do.

  3. That’s good you kinda waited to mellow down before writing Gary a nasty e-mail.
    Having empathy can be a bit hard. I go through times where I forget what it’s like to be in somebody else’s shoe when I say/do something that can be hurtful. But ya know, once you realize what you’ve done, you do what you can to not do it anymore. But ey, we’re all human 🙂
    Take care!

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