My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Privacy Act

Sitting in hotel, raining outside, I decided to write a brief note to Daniel, the intelligent Japanese-American guy I had met in DC, I don’t have his email, but I remembered you could search him on Facebook (though he had hidden his profile). So I go to Facebook, find him, and email him via the website.

My message, was basically “hi, hope you are doing well, I’m traveling in Europe but was thinking about you, hope you will stay in touch, you’re a nice person, glad to have met”.

Couple of hours later, I get this reply, “Netherlands? Wow, hope you are having fun. Stay safe there and don’t get into trouble. Things aren’t working out too bad here. Work definitely keeps me on my toes. You know how it goes.”

Fine, I think, so today I’m responding to another Facebook request and notice a big “?” by Daniel’s name. Sure enough, he’s vanished from Facebook, you can no longer search for him any way. Guess he has to know you now.

I feel like stalker, was this the wrong way to contact him? Clearly getting the message though, but it strikes me as horribly immature and worse insecure. I feel sorry for him, what things in his life will he miss because he’s so fearful of someone “finding” him.

I realize I’m on the extreme opposite pole from Daniel, but life is about engaging with other humans, we happen to be all over the place, probably one on a street corner near you. Is he avoiding others or avoiding himself?


  1. or avoiding you? stalker.

  2. I’m with you – life is about engaging with others! People ask me why I’ve met so many other bloggers when my blog is “anonymous”…but what’s the point in hiding! Life is lived in the real world, not the e-world. Hope you’re enjoying your time in Europe! 🙂

  3. Perhaps he was unsure of your intentions and freaked out when you saw your message that seemed to have appeared out of the blue?

  4. You’re such a fucking stalker.

  5. This happens to everyone – gay, straight or bi. “Daniel” just didn’t have the nerve to be upfront to say whether or not he was interested. He took the cowardly way out, but you’re probably better off. Think of this as a glimpse into the type of person he is.

  6. I agree with Erik, your a fucking stalker. When it comes to the communications of courtship, rule #1 is that you use the agreed upon tools for connection. If he doesn’t tell you where he lives, you wouldn’t show up at his house. If he doesn’t give you his phone number, you don’t call him. And if he doesn’t give you his email address, don’t use Facebook, myspace or friendster to find him. PS You are too old for facebook anyway. Dateline already has a “to catch a predator” van ready and waiting on P street for you.

  7. if he didnt want anything to do with you, he wouldnt have responded.

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