In case you’re joining this blog "already in progress", thought it might be helpful to recap where I am on my journey.
I’m a guy 45 (though most folks would suspect I look much younger and no one would suspect I’m anything but straight), 15 years married, 2 teenage boys, gorgeous wife, beautiful life, great house in the suburbs of Washington, DC, well travel and rich in life experiences. I’m a techno exec, I mow my own grass on Saturday. Life is good.
Since my early 20’s, I’ve notice good looking guys. I’ve always been a guy’s guy. The occasional gay fantasy. Hey – don’t all guys think like that? Through the years, I got into a bit of gay porn, just a little to start, I mixed it with straight porn. Isn’t that normal? I’m a guy after all. I doubt anyone I know questions my sexuality.
My married sex life was great in the early days, but had fallen to maybe 5-10 times a year, my wife was happy (I thought). We’re getting older. Tiger didn’t have a new ball to play with in his cage, It’s OK, right?
In 2006, a series of events happened. I fell for a male friend of mine who I fell for and which kicked me into driving off the reservation into a series of gay relations. I thought I had it all under control. I don’t.
I told my wife. We’re still together for the moment. I’ve got professionals working with us. I’m trying to be good, but I’m horny as hell. I’m trying to pull this all back together.
Can I? I’ll write, you read. We’ll both find out.