Scrappy is still firmly in Canada and I will route myself to North America next week and he will magically appear at some point. While in Canada, Scrappy has been under the influence of his two best bitches. Long term girlfriends who he can go have girlie time.
These bitches love him and they like me, but away from my gravitational pull, their little moons pull on him. Basically, they’re worried that Scrappy could be at risk both emotionally and more importantly financial from his escapades with me. Me? Mr. Reliability!
Sadly, they have a point. I am asking Scrappy to follow me around the world making it near impossible for him to have any meaningful job. Yes, I pay for most everything. But the risk is some younger Asian snackie toy catchs my attention and Scrappy, who is Scrappy? The name sounds vaguely familiar.
Where would Scrappy be? Well poor, no job and god only knows where on the planet.
In a straight relationship, no woman would move in and follow some guy around without a ring on their finger and the protection of the “we’re gonna fuck you but good” legal system. Somehow in a gay relationship, I see Scrappy as a “man” (ok it’s a stretch, but physically yes) and he should be watching out for his own ass (that is when I’m not watching out for it).
In all seriousness, assume my wife and I had gone cats n’ dogs in our relationship, I’m a divorced 50 year old. I would either be “playing the field” or in the midst of getting remarried. It would be one of the other.
The reality, I am asking Scrappy to be my “spouse” and he should be afforded some protection. I’m trying to be balanced here. What is that protection? Do I agree to pay him some alimony in the event we break up, allowing him time to set himself back up? Do I fund a joint bank account with a pre-settlement that he could tap assuming we broke up?
Of course, it works both ways. Without some legal air cover, Scrappy could go full bitch mode one day, blow out, disappear and tap the account, leaving me with no resources.
Agreements are never written for clear sailing days. They’re written for when the shit hits the fan. I’m still legally married, so I can’t get married to Scrappy. Are we at that point? 4 years of globe trotting, yes ups and downs but we’re still here growling together. I had written ages ago that one of the problems with most gay relationships is the struggle to create various levels of interaction that keep things moving forward. I think we’re facing a rock face and need to make a decision. In a pseudo-partner agreement, there needs to be an ask on both parties. Scrappy wants financial security. But what’s my ask? I struggle with that part.