My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Parents, whatja gonna do with them

There is no right or wrong, just the consequences of your decision, or so they say. TC is safely back in, well, Toronto. The plan, as of this moment, is for him to return just after Christmas and we'll sort out together a new apartment.

Last night, TC felt he need to clue his sister in on the story. Not the whole story, mind you, just the important points. "I've been living with my boyfriend for the last year, he's now in DC, I'm gonna go join him first of the year." We've conveniently left off the older, married, kids, still married, older (did I say that, I forget sometimes).

The reaction from his sister was swift, bad idea. Unfortunately the reaction from his sister about any idea involving TC and another guy would likely be deemed "bad". His family acknowledges he's gay, just don't have another guy in your life, all will be well.

Tolerance without acceptance. TC is feeling the pressure. I wonder how many families around the world do the same to their gay kids. So TC wants to paint them a little rosy story, "a roommate, a friend", if his parents come to visit, I'm conveniently "out of town those days". The reality, they will all know something is up, but as long as they have plausible denial, all is well.

TC is in a weak position, he knows it, I know it and now you know it. But there is little he can do. Time and a solid base will provide him the power to deal with this in the head on manner that it needs to be. It's not today though and I respect that. Save your energy to fight the battle when you can win.

I was looking for other "coming out stories" and how parents reacted and didn't take great genius to turn to YouTube for real life examples. I stumbled upon this teenager "Carlkr" with quite a following. His coming out story below. PS I've already gotten severely busted for Carl, he's quite cute, but no, even I have my rules (OK guidelines, whatever, leave me alone).

2 Comments

  1. I think it’s fine. He should tell whatever little white lies he needs to, as long as he is honest with you. So, what story will you be telling your “ex” wife and children?

  2. Coming out is not always the best solution. Sometimes family members “know”, but they don’t want to explicity “know” or be told. Maybe they prefer a long-term “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation.

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